I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
