so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
