We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
