he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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