Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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