If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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