I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
