Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
