Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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