shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
