i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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