oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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