she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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