Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
