I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
