It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.