ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better