Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?

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(617): My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned? http://tfl.nu/bm6r

Replies (125) Good night (7847) Bad night (2600)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever

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(231): Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever http://tfl.nu/plkd

Replies (1) Good night (5076) Bad night (977)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.

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(770): I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia. http://tfl.nu/25qr

Replies (14) Good night (2710) Bad night (1465)
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(916): View more from California

So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.

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(916): So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday. http://tfl.nu/t9ad

Replies (9) Good night (3785) Bad night (1072)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.

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(314): Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault. http://tfl.nu/cvk2

Replies (3) Good night (2629) Bad night (866)
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(210): View more from Texas

I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.

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(210): I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high. http://tfl.nu/oo1s

Replies (16) Good night (3210) Bad night (1069)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.

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(208): Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out. http://tfl.nu/579a

Replies (3) Good night (2370) Bad night (924)
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(816): View more from Missouri

He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man

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(816): He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man http://tfl.nu/qpf8

Replies (18) Good night (4213) Bad night (1065)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.

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(774): just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break. http://tfl.nu/t20t

Replies (2) Good night (2213) Bad night (883)
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(515): View more from Iowa

This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.

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(515): This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity. http://tfl.nu/l9v1

Replies (5) Good night (1297) Bad night (701)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

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(706): I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina http://tfl.nu/j6ze

Replies (12) Good night (2384) Bad night (949)
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(720): View more from Colorado

What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...

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(720): What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book... http://tfl.nu/q46p

Replies (5) Good night (1314) Bad night (398)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important

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(+44): have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important http://tfl.nu/fujo

Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (362)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again

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(814): My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again http://tfl.nu/inh4

Replies (3) Good night (625) Bad night (358)
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(305): View more from Florida

Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!

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(305): Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!! http://tfl.nu/q8an

Replies (4) Good night (882) Bad night (328)

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