hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
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that's an acceptable place to lick
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
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I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.