I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
