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• (801): View more from Utah

  hey, what are you doing tonight?

  (646): View more from New York

  sleeping, g'night!

  (801): View more from Utah

  but i wanted to see you :(

  (646): View more from New York

  sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!

  (646): View more from New York

  stop - you have a right hand - use it!

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

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• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (212): View more from New York

  that's an acceptable place to lick

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter

  (310): View more from California

  your less of a man for seeing that

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.

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• (310): View more from California

  This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.

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• (682): View more from Texas

  You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...

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• (408): View more from California

  I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.

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