can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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