I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
