When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
