It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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