Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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