white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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