First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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