I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This house was built for laser tag.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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