dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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