The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
