yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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