Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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