We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
