If that was your dad, he is hot
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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