Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
