You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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