Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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