i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
