Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize