You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so that wasnt chicken after all
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
