I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
