office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
