So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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