I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
