I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
