Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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