I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
