I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He better not be in your backpack
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
