Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
