ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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