Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
