these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
