Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
