I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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