i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
