You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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