She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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