sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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