she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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