This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
can u get pink eye on your cock?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
