Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Randomize
