I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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