I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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