She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
