I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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