remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
