It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
only if we run a train.
done.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you win again, gameday.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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