So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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