Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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