Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
