I think I am morally bankrupt
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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